Elon UpdateVerdict: Unverified
Elon Buys the Concept of Tuesday, Plans to Iterate
Terms of the deal were not disclosed because Tuesday did not consent.
Acquisition Complete
Sources confirm the purchase closed Monday night, technically before the asset existed.
"Tuesday is bloated," an internal memo read. "We're shipping a leaner Tuesday by Q3."
Roadmap
- Remove afternoons (redundant)
- Merge with Thursday (synergy)
- Charge $8 for verified Tuesdays
Calendar apps have declined to comment, citing ongoing trauma from the Wednesday incident.
More Elon Update
Elon UpdateVerdict: Unverified
Elon Renames Gravity to "X", Physicists File Complaint
The billionaire announced the rebrand at 2:14 a.m., citing "friction with legacy branding".
Dev Ramanathan · Aug 7, 2026