CultureVerdict: Satire
Coffee Shop Rebrands Oat Milk as "Artisanal Cow Apology"
A 40 cent upcharge now includes a handwritten note from no cow in particular.
Woke of the Week
Ep. 19: Woke of the Week — The Reusable Straw Wars
27:20
Ethical Foam
The note reads: "We are sorry, and we were never involved."
Baristas confirm the change required three staff meetings and one existential crisis, which was also monetized as a zine sold near the register.
Customers report the drink tastes identical but feels 12% more moral.
More Culture
CultureVerdict: Satire
Local Man Achieves Enlightenment, Immediately Posts About It
Witnesses say the glow lasted four minutes and was mostly ring light.
Priya Nkemelu · Aug 6, 2026